A Fresh Approach to New Year's Resolutions - Goals + Grace

Hi there! I hope your 2019 is off to a great start!

Quite a bit has happened since I wrote last! First of all - Christmas! Or for my family - Christmas x10! Maybe not 10, but we are blessed with a big wonderful extended family and therefore have many Christmases. We mostly stayed nearby (the farthest we travelled was a couple hours away for a few days). We spent Christmas day at home with Brent's parents in the morning and my parents in the afternoon. The kids got A LOT of stuff (mostly thanks to our very generous extended family) - some highlights were: an easel (so excited to do more art with the kids in the next year!), a swing-set (it was an early Christmas gift that we've been enjoying for a few months now), many new princess dress-up dresses for Emme, a Mickey Mouse bathrobe for Rhett, and next week we're taking the kids to Disneyland!

As much as I love all things Christmas, I also love the fresh start to a new year that follows. It seems like perfect timing that we get new things or have new experiences, and then have a fresh new year to plan how we're going to best steward them. We take down all of our decorations, and then have a chance to rethink how we're going to put our house back together - do we still like the things that we put away for the Christmas season? Did we even miss them? We get this special season to reflect, and then a new year to move forward.

I've seen a lot of talk going around about New Year's Resolutions and I wanted to chime in. I've seen generally two camps:

1. I love New Year's Resolutions! Goals goals goals!

or...

2. I don't make New Year's Resolutions, because why should I set myself up for failure by making goals that I might stick with for a month and then give up?

I've also seen people talking about their "word for the year" or "setting intentions" instead of resolutions.

I've come to find in my ripe, old age of 28 years old that I tend to fall somewhere in the middle on most subjects that have polar sides, and it's the same for New Year's Resolutions. I actually enjoy setting New Year's Resolutions, and usually do each year. As I've continued to set goals and see how they play out, I've realized which resolutions are helpful for me and how to best set them so that I'm happy with the outcome.

Brent and I mostly work on our goals together, and our general strategy is to take a few days to sit at the computer and make a list (I like to type ours so that I can easily edit them and check them off, but you could totally write them by hand as well). We try to check in on them every month or so to check off things we've accomplished, make edits, or remove things that are no longer relevant - because a lot of things can change in the course of a year!

I break our resolutions down into categories: Spiritual, Physical, Hospitality, Financial, Travel, Business, and Personal. Below I'll describe what kind of break-downs I do for each category:

Spiritual: This is where I make goals for how I want to spend more time with Jesus. Sometimes I pick out a Bible-reading plan for the year, or choose a Bible study I want to do. I also list out the books I want to finish or start in the year.

Physical: This is where I make goals for my physical health. This could look like how many workouts I want to complete each week, or a specific workout plan I want to do. Maybe I want to try to limit dessert to once a week, or fit into a certain outfit. I don't typically make specific weight-loss goals, because I've found that if I'm doing the right things, the results follow. So instead of making goals based on the numbers I want, I make goals based on how I want to get there. Brent and I usually start the year with some sort of a cleanse or month long commitment, so instead of making a weight-loss goal, my goal would be to complete the cleanse and make the best choices possible.

Hospitality: This is one of my favorite sections. This is where Brent and I make a list of specific people we want to have over for a meal or games or something. We love having people over, but we've found that if we're not intentional about it, it usually doesn't happen (or a month goes by and we realize we didn't have anyone over). Especially now that we live about 30 minutes away from most of our friends, we need to make a point of reaching out and making dates. A list also helps us reflect on how often we actually see the people that we want to see. It might seem like we see our friends often, but then when we actually look at the calendar, we might realize that we haven't had them over in 6 months!

Looking at our list from 2018, we had seven people/couples on the list and we had over four of them - yay! Those other three will stay on the list for 2019 and we'll make them a priority. We don't include people on this list that we naturally see often (like our parents or siblings).

Finances: This is where we make goals for our finances, like how much we want to save or invest, or if we want to save for a specific goal or item. We might make a list of things that we feel like we need or want to buy, and then put them in a list of priority.

Travel: This is where we make a list of places we'd like to go or people we'd like to visit in the next year. There might be a specific holiday when we want to travel to be with family on, or even just schedule a family camping trip. If we don't put it on the list, it's less likely to just happen.

Business: We are rolling in multiple business ventures these days, so this is a big one for us. We make goals for things we want to accomplish or focus on in our businesses, things we want to look into, and put them in order of priority. This could also include new skills we want to learn, or books we want to read, that would contribute to the growth of our businesses.

Personal: This is where we put down our separate, personal goals. Last year, one of my goals was to finish some knitting projects and use up more of the yarn stash I have, and I did! I also wanted to organize drawers in the house, and I accomplished that, too! I also had a goal to learn to read knitting patterns, which I did not accomplish, so I will keep that on the list for 2019 (and I know I'll accomplish this because my fabulous sister-in-law actually gave me a sweater kit for Christmas).

True confession - I haven't even started our 2019 goals yet! I'm sure I will in the next few days as I've been thinking about it, but I had some other things I needed to finish up first. January 1st is not some magical day, so if you haven't even thought about or started writing down some resolutions, there's still time - and I recommend it!

One new category I plan to add this year is one for the kids - what do I want to work on or see happen for my children in 2019? I know I want to be more intentional about doing art with them, at least weekly, and trying new crafts. We've also talked about getting Emme enrolled in dance lessons. Maybe for Rhett it will be to help him master his scooter.

So that's what we do! I like to type it because a year is a long time! We had set goals at the beginning of 2018 that we had to change or adjust as our life changed. I had goals for organizing and setting up our house, and then we ended up moving (which wasn't planned at the beginning of the year). I also think it's perfectly acceptable and good to put things on the list that you KNOW you will be doing anyways. Like if you already have a trip planned, put it on the list and check it off once you've gone! The whole point of making goals is celebrating when you accomplish them, and this list is all about seeing and celebrating all that you can accomplish in a year when being intentional.

I hope my strategy was helpful and maybe inspired you to get intentional with 2019! Goals are more fun when accompanied with grace, or at least that's what I believe.

Love always,

Caroline